The MoBster Diaries

Monday, September 10, 2007

Wedding Babies: Pro? Con?

OK, here's our current dilemma. Although, dilemma's the wrong word. More of a, well, puzzlement. As we hone the guest list, we notice that we have no fewer than 15 children (attached to parents, of course) under 3 years old on the list. And yes, they need to be invited - I guess - since many of the parents are coming from out of town and will naturally bring Baby Bunting with them.

I want children at the wedding and reception, truly. Who needs a snooty wedding, where everything and everyone is expected to be perfect? Children just add to the festivities. Kate agrees (I think), but the child-issue is two-fold:

1. Should little kids and babies be at the wedding ceremony? Won't they be bored? Won't they cry and cut-up? Will the parents be kind enough to take the little darlings out if they start raising a ruckus during the vows or the Eucharist?

2. Do we really have to pay $50-per-head, even for little kids who won't be drinking alcohol (we surmise) or eat all that much? That seems really unfair of caterers or reception venues to slap a high-priced charge-per-head for anyone under, say, 5. Am I crazy and out-of-line on this?

Is it bad form to offer a nursery with paid, competent childcare workers available during the ceremony? Will parents take advantage of it?

Can we bargain with the caterers/reception venue to offer a lower charge-per-head, serving peanut butter sandwiches and chicken fingers, for the toddler crowd?

We definitely want the wedding and reception to be welcoming, fun, friendly events for guests of all ages (and don't you love seeing little children in their fancy clothes?). So, what to do?

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posted by MaryB at


  • 1. Yes, they should be there, especially if that's what Kate wants. And yes, they'll be bored. I would hope that the parents of any child who becomes unruly would take them out. But your idea of having paid nursery care is great and emphasizes your desire for a quiet ceremony. I would have taken advantage of the nursery when my kids were younger! I suppose I should mention that I never took my children to a wedding. I preferred leaving them home -- even when we went to FL for a wedding (we left them with a trusted aunt and uncle) for a long weekend.

    2. I was at a retirement party (formal) recently where the children ages 4-10 were seated at a separate table with a couple of teenagers who were hired to watch them. The parents were still in the room, but they didn't really have to worry about their little ones at all. And you should have seen the look of delight when chicken fingers and fries appeared at their table rather than the adult fare. They all thought it was great, and I know it cost much less than the adult meals (my friend faced the same dilemma and was thrilled that the parents of these kids were so appreciative of her considering the children rather than expecting them to behave like little adults). That doesn't mean that she didn't expect the children to behave -- she did -- and they did.

    The main thing is that Kate and her guy are happy with whatever you choose to do.

    By Blogger Elsie, At September 13, 2007 at 1:06 PM  

  • Elsie - I love your advice! (How many daughters have you married off??) Kate asked if we shouldn't add you to the guest list! :-)

    By Blogger MaryB, At September 15, 2007 at 10:40 PM  

  • I'll come watch the kids!

    By Blogger Elsie, At September 16, 2007 at 6:34 AM  

  • I think the creche is a brilliant idea but will the parents play along? We have creche in church and mostly the parents go there with their children not seeming to trust anyone else - which sort of makes it pointless. If you feel confident that the parents will leave their children there, then it's good. Then again if it's there, they will have somewhere to go with the children if they're noisy.

    Surely the caterers must be prepared to do an alternate child's menu? Certainly for that number of children. You must barter!

    By Blogger Liz Hinds, At October 13, 2007 at 11:14 AM  

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