And bubbles signify . . . what?

We're in the picky-detail stage of the wedding, now that it's just a few weeks away. Even though I live in New York, a million miles from Atlanta, there are still a few MoB tasks that I can do from here. One thing I can do is trick out the little bubble favors for the reception.

Yeah. Bubbles. Back in the olden days - for thousands of years, I think - well-wishers threw rice at the bride and groom as a symbol of hopeful fertility. Rice = Babies. I get that. But somewhere along the way, in the last 20 years or so, throwing rice has become a big no-no.

First, a myth got started that throwing rice was bad for birds. Theory was that sweet little birds would eat the tossed rice from the ground, the grains would swell up inside the birds, and somehow that would kill the little avians. Well, that's not true. In fact, when you stop to think about it, that's just stupid. Birds eat all kinds of grains, and they don't swell up and die.

Now the anti-rice brigade has two arguments. One: that folks can slip and fall on the rice left on sidewalks and driveways. This may be true, though I've never heard of mass rice-slippage deaths and injuries. We'll have to look up those statistics to get to the heart of the matter on that. Two: rice is a pain in the ass to clean up. I'm sure this is the primary reason venues won't allow rice to be thrown - sheer laziness. I mean, can't you just sweep the stuff off the pavement and into the grass? What's the harm there?

But no. Mustn't thrown rice - age-old fertility tradition - at 21st century brides and grooms. So what can you do? So far, allowable choices at Bride's reception venue are flower petals, and bubbles. Hm. Flower petals seem kinda wussy and Hare Krishna-esque to me. And isn't there the possibility of slipping on those, as well?

That leaves - ta-da! - bubbles. I'm not sure of the symbolism around bubbles, from a fertility standpoint I mean. With bubbles, I feel the wish is "Y'all be clean!" or "Remember to do your laundry!" But it just doesn't say "Go forth and multiply!" like a handful of rice. Are you with me on this?

Anyway. I'm stuck with bubbles. I will order the miniature plain white bubble bottles and tie them up in cornflower and ivory tulle to make them a little perkier. They'll be adorable.

But, still. Bubbles?